Commentary on Neil Strauss "The Game"



-My reason for writing this review after reading this book-



As a person studying psychology and at the same time working at an addiction center assisting addicts with substance/sexual/relationship addictions and in seeking to help others with addiction issues I recently asked to borrow this book from a friend of mine to get a flavor for one of the better known Pick Up Artist books.



We both though it was interesting the degree to which this book describes a large number of people I come into contact with who are suffering major substance/sexual and relationship/substance addiction problems. We both agreed that Mystery and Style in particular appear to have major relationship/sexual addiction issues coupled with an unrealistic perception that they can somehow manipulate their way into controlling women who are suffering in many respects the same addiction they are.



While parts of the book are entertaining and at times funny, this book holds a large mirror up to a growing problem within the addiction universe. Sadly this problem is contributing to the ever increasing number of dysfunctional male/female relationships and social problems with major legal/social/economic consequences.



In addition since the problems\consequences are inadequately discussed in the previous reviews I feel it is my duty as a man who has known similar players (to Mystery and Style) who in at least two cases lost everything they owned and valued both monetarily and on a relationship basis and my sincere wish to pop this bubble and allowing one addict to be a huckster and profit off of other people's misery. The unhealthy attitudes and behaviors described within this book illuminate the problems but sadly do not show the potential consequences for those who apply the principles contained within this product. Since many times the problems within marriages begin with dating it is of significant importance to remove toxic dysfunctional thinking (stinking thinking) within a given relationship sooner than later (preferably before there are children or there is a costly and angry divorce).



-Note about the closing-

At the end my review I offer several resources to consider which I have found personally to be useful (nothing in this world is perfect or infallible) if you are looking for a way out and are unhappy and feel emotionally unsatisfied by increasing toxic nature of male/female relations.



-About Myself-

Please be a forewarned as a psychology student who has worked with addicts and personally known all too many addicts I have known many addicts and as a result became very much interested in learning about all the major forms of addiction. While I have read extensively about various forms of addiction including and limited to sexual, substance, relationship addition I am no expert but I sincerely hope the following is helpful\useful to someone.



-Primary Concern On the Soap Box here I go-

After finishing this book I have come to believe that people like said author are part of the problem and not the solution. Sadly many of the people I have met at the addiction center I work at and people who I have met in recovery groups and who are members of recovery groups who have similar addictions mentioned in this book and a result of similar books only seek help after having lost everything and in saddest cases (fortunately not often) are now engaged within the court system after much of the damage has already been done. I have no patience for hucksters (One who uses aggressive, showy, and sometimes devious methods to promote or sell a product)like Mr. Strauss and similar con-men\seminar (book) profiteers (One who makes excessive profits on goods\services in short supply in this case a lack of intimacy\affection in other cases greed).like Mr. Kiyosaki, Mr. Trump, and Mr. Robbins are all of the same stripe and in the worst scenarios can and do cause people to lose everything of any value or possessing any meaning in their lives with legal\financial\relationship consequences while they are laughing all the way to the bank and I for purposes of this review make no secret of my disdain for these dishonorable people.



Sadly, this book is illustrative on how dysfunctional an increasing large portion of our society (especially in the cities) has become. I am of the conclusion that the problem created\fostered nurtured by this book the pimp culture, and the pick up artist subculture is in a similar and despicable way like the gang problem moving from being a subculture in cities into becoming part of the overall mainstream culture (on both a rural and urban basis) it is a contributing factor all though by no means the only factor which is contributing to dysfunctional male/female relationships.



Sadly since Mr. Strauss is writing what is in effect opinion he can probably not be sued for any legal\economic consequences he may encourage which is very sad and all too bad for those who are taken in by Him. Too bad as his venom will likely cost its victims both male and female economically, legally, and at its worst on a familial basis (unforeseen pregnancies producing yet more angry (at both their father and their mother)children.



-A Major Considerations for the Reader\Subject audience-

Setting the problem with Mr. Strauss facing consequences aside it is now important to discuss the primary root of the problem which I will refer to as the concept of the "starving person" since I don't think the term referred in dysfunctional family literature is a.e. the "inner child" is as descriptive. To simplify an inner child\starving person is a person who often had a cold unavailable upbringing whereby the parents were unavailable emotionally or where children (now adults) seek out the emotional attachment\affection they were denied as children which at its most excessive can become sexual or substance based addiction. This problem is likely to only increase as healthy models for relationships diminish with increasing introversion on the part of parents and others within society as a result of the acceptance and increasing usage of television, and other devices\methods of introversion Examples: (video games, ipod, smart phones, The Internet, texting/sexting, and Instant messaging).



-Unforeseen Consequences of "PUA" (Pick Up Artist Literature)-

A friend of mine was recently fired for sexual harassment for pursuing a woman obsessively. He asked her out three times because he though she was interested in a sexual relationship he had unfortunately read a description of availability in a similar book and he sadly thought her affection was something more when it really was (she apparently though it to be an expression of friendliness) sadly for both of them he interpreted this as "petting" her contact consisted of touching his arm and hugging him briefly (to most people is not going to be viewed as an invitation) and unfortunately viewed the following as an invitation for something more he pursued and persisted in trying to get a date with her until he was told that in no uncertain terms his services were no longer necessary (he was fired and told that if he agreed to leave immediately they would not include a note in his file mentioning sexual harassment) He was lucky in that if he had money or had behave inappropriately (touching or other inappropriate contact) he might have face legal/financial consequences. There is a degree to which many people are not sure what affection and attraction are as they have never really received any meaningful amount of either.



Unfortunately as the boundaries become blurred as men seek previously unavailable affection and as women seek gratification from emphasizing their appearance to obtain greater control and in many instances affection (at worst to control or manipulate others emanating ultimately from a sense of powerlessness)the problems are only likely to get worse for our legal system, workplace environment, and human interrelations. Something which is foreseeable (as a possibility of following the advice within this book) and unfortunate for the "starving adult" are for the man who (follows this book and unintentionally blends the PUA (Pick up artist) world with the more rigid legally obsessed outside workplace\social world and crosses the border (at times) invisible boundary dividing the appropriate (behavior between men and women)from that which is inappropriate. Many of the flirting methods or various techniques within this book and others like it including the "Mystery Method" can have major undesired foreseeable consequences in a workplace/educational and other social environments for the person (who applies the concepts within ) especially if the a method employed (if it is in turn undesired by the other person) may find that they are subjected to sexual harassment or in a worst case scenario if they act out criminal charges related to inappropriate touching or brushing. Consequences which are legal and can have both financial\criminal outcomes and which may lead to at a minimum dismissal from a job, result in the person being asked to leave a (an example being flirting with employees at a store) and if the person has any money legal action with possible major financial consequences such as being unable to obtain a job, paying massive legal bills\financial settlement, and or being unemployable as a result of today's greatest workplace "scarlet letter" (a sexual harassment claim)which aside from stealing (mark the potential employee as a hiring risk. In addition (a criminal charge of sexual harassment or a legal case involving sexual harassment if it goes to trial are often listed on background checks with major employers both private and public)will be used to eliminate an e