Title: Star Trek-Infinity: Shattered Illusions [PG] (MISC)

Author: Charles Rando (trando@worldnet.att.net)

Series: MISC

Rating: [PG]

Part: NEW 3/3

Disclaimer: Paramount owns the whole Star Trek franchise and Peter David
owns the Selelvian race (see his book, "Strike Zone"). I'd like to think
that the characters I've invented and the story are mine. :-)

Summary: Commander Witherell and Counselor Kassal must uncover a dark secret
in Captain Rando's past before it kills him!

CHAPTER SEVEN

Witherell and Kassal quickly followed Rando into his quarters before the
doors shut. Although they weren't sure the doors would actually present much
of an obstacle to them, seeing as their surroundings were only memories,
they didn't want to take any chances. Rando had sat Trina down in a chair
and was kneeling beside her.

"What is it, Trina?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

"It's Paul," Trina sobbed. "He's left me... a month before we were going to
see each other for the first time since he graduated!"

Rando looked shocked. "Are you sure, Trina? I thought you and Paul were
pretty serious."

Trina nodded sadly. "I've already put in my request for a transfer to the
Mahler . Now I have to withdraw it! And after I convinced Captain Jefferson
I wasn't transferring for personal reasons."

Rando smiled sympathetically. "The Captain can be a bit stubborn at times,
can't he?"

Trina broke into tears again. "I haven't even told you the worst part,
Charlie. But I think you should read his letter for yourself." She passed
the PADD she had been clutching to her chest over to him.

Rando quickly scanned the PADD, and by the time he had finished, his face
had gone ashen and pale. "'Sonja and I have gotten quite close during our
tour of duty,'" he read, with Witherell looking over his shoulder, "'and I
think we both would like to explore the possibilities of a relationship
between us.'"

Kassal, who had been listening intently, took a step back. "That's not
true," she whispered.

"'I wish you the best in your career and your life. If you'll excuse me, I'm
meeting Sonja in her quarters for dinner,'" Rando finished.

"Can you believe it?" Trina cried. "They've left us for each other!"

"Commander," Kassal said in barely a whisper, "did you see when that letter
was sent?"

"Stardate 40231.3," Witherell answered. "Why?"

"Because I remember that Paul died on an away mission to Kyrus IV on
stardate 40231.5," Kassal answered. "And he had been down on the planet for
days before that. There's no way he could have sent that letter so that
Trina received it now."

"Subspace isn't instantaneous," Witherell reminded her, "it take time for a
message from your ship to arrive here."

"It never took over an hour, Commander; our two ships weren't that far
apart. After all, both ships were basically made up of fresh from the
Academy crews and Starfleet liked to keep those ships deep in Federation
space. This was the furthest we had gone out towards a potential enemy."

Witherell nodded. "Kyrus IV is near the Romulan Neutral Zone, isn't it?"

"Only a few dozen light-years away," Kassal said.

"Maybe he wrote that letter before he beamed down to the planet and
instructed the computer to delay it's being sent," Witherell suggested.

"I suppose that's possible, but that last line isn't true at all. Paul knew
he would be going on this away mission for weeks, and he knew he'd be on
Kyrus IV for five days. How he could write that we were going to have dinner
in my quarters, when he would be down on the planet at the time?" Kassal
demanded. She suddenly stopped talking, as if a new idea had just occurred
to her. "Commander, I don't think these memories are the ones Charlie's
repressing."

Witherell looked at her. "What makes you say that?"

"I don't know... it just doesn't feel right to me." She paused. "There's
something else... deeper than this that's bothering him, although for some
reason, this is where we were being led. If I concentrate hard enough, I
might be able to find out exactly what he's repressing."

"No!" Witherell and Kassal turned to see Rando looked straight at them.
Trina was gone, as was the Clinton, but a new image was beginning to form.
"I don't want to remember this!" Rando was saying, as he turned his back
towards the other officers. "Why are you forcing me to remember this?!"

"Because it's hurting you to repress these memories, Charlie," Kassal said,
placing a hand on his shoulder. "You have to let the truth be known by
someone else, someone other than yourself. What really happened on Kyrus
IV?"

Rando jerked himself away from her touch. "I told you, I can't remember! I
don't want you to see what happened!" But as he shouted, the background was
already beginning to take another shape as the Captain's memories came back
into focus. "No! I don't want to remember! Please!" Rando cried, but to no
avail.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The first thing Counselor Kassal did when she realized she was back in
sickbay was to look at Captain Rando. He was staring back at her.

"You did it!" exclaimed Doctor Calabretta as he and McDonald ran in the
room. "You brought him out of the coma!"

"Yes Doctor," Rando replied weakly, "they both effected a flawless rescue."

"Stay quiet, please, Captain, you need to conserve your strength for now,"
Calabretta replied. He turned to Kassal. "I take it you found out what
memories he was repressing?"

Kassal only nodded.

"Well then, I assume you have some counseling to do. But try to keep it
short, he is going to need his rest, you understand," Calabretta said.

"I think it was the combination of his repressed memories and my new powers
that did it," Kassal said. "I don't know how, but that just seems like the
right answer to me."

"Counselor, you don't understand," Rando said pointedly. "I wasn't
repressing any memories."

Kassal shook her head. "But you were, Charlie. About everything that had
happened on Kyrus IV. You weren't letting yourself truly know what happened
there."

"I knew what happened there, Counselor," Rando replied sharply. "I was
attempting to stop you from knowing." Rando's eyes met Calabretta's.
"Doctor, if you and Nanci could give us some privacy?"

Calabretta nodded reluctantly. "All right, but not for very long. You've
been through a lot and you need your rest." Without another word, he and
McDonald left the room.

"Captain, why wouldn't you want us to know what happened on Kyrus IV?"
Witherell asked.

"Because Starfleet has classified the incident. If you looked up the Kyrus
IV mission log, you'd find that I never led that away team, and that the
away team was never found."

"But that's not what happened, Charlie. Why would Starfleet hide the truth?"

"Come now, Sonja, you know that answer as well as I do," Rando said. "You
both do. Which is why I have to ask that neither one of you bring it up
again... not even among yourselves."

"Then the other memories we saw... they weren't actually what you
remembered, but your attempt to keep us from what really happened?"
Witherell asked.

"Commander, I never invented any false memories to lead you off the track,"
Rando replied. "I just tried to stop you from finding out what you weren't
supposed to know."

"But you didn't remember Trina at your graduation... and the memory of her
coming to you with that letter...." Kassal brought up.

"I don't know why I didn't remember Trina at graduation, I honestly don't.
As for the letter, that really happened. Trina had received a letter from
Paul saying that he was leaving her for you. She was so heart-broken... I
couldn't tell her what had happened to him just then. It was days before I
told her he was dead."

"Ok, while we're all asking questions to find out what the hell happened,
tell me this. If the Captain's coma wasn't caused by repressed memories,
what was it caused by?" Witherell asked.

"Doctor, I don't care what she's doing, I need to talk to Counselor Kassal
now!" exclaimed Lieutenant Monty as she burst into the room. Doctor McDonald
appeared a second later. Commander Witherell searched again, without
success, for the mysterious cat. Captain Rando held his head in pain again.

"Sonja, if you don't mind... I have an awful headache and your meowing is
quite piercing," Rando said.

"Sorry, sir," Kassal replied meekly. She could tell by the look in Rando's
eyes that he wasn't happy with her... and not just for making noise. He was
angry with her for invading his mind.

"I'm sorry, Captain, I tried to stop her, but she insisted on coming in
here," McDonald replied.

Before Rando could answer, another sensation struck Kassal and she said,
"It's ok, Nanci, she can stay." She regarded her captain. Something was
going to happen here, she could sense it. Along with that same feeling she
had first gotten when this had all began. "Nanci, would you excuse us
please?"

McDonald nodded. "Of course," she replied, and blinked out of existence.

"Trina Monty. After all these years, she's still barging in on me. What can
I do for you, Lieutenant?" Rando asked. Witherell blinked. Although he
hadn't made the connection before, the new head of stellar cartography on
the Infinity was Rando's old classmate.

"Captain!" Monty exclaimed, seeing Rando for the first time and snapping to
attention. "I'm sorry, I...."

"It's all right, Trina. I've gotten used to people barging in on me today.
Now, what can I do for you?"

"N-nothing, sir. I just wanted to talk to the Counselor," Monty spit out.

Rando sighed. "All right, first off, let's all drop the formality. We're all
friends here, right? Right. Well, Sonja, I believe we've finished up here,
have we not?"

"I think so, Charlie," Kassal replied.

"Then you and Trina can get caught up on old times. Commander, why don't you
relieve Lieutenant Williams?"

"Yes sir," Witherell nodded, and walked out of the room.

Kassal looked at the Captain. "Charlie, are you sure you're ok?"

"I think Trina just startled me when she came in. She gave me a headache."

Sonja raised an eyebrow. "Charlie, if you don't mind, perhaps Trina and I
could talk here." The look on her face seemed to indicate that she was
concentrating on something. "Yes, I think I can say that what she has to say
concerns all of us."

Monty looked at the Counselor. "I want to know why," she said. "I want to
know why you took him from me."

Kassal blinked. "You think I stole Paul from you? Trina, that's not true."

"To think that the man I was going to marry would leave me for you... just
days before he died! How could you do that to me?"

Rando cleared his throat, regaining the attention of the two women. "She
didn't do anything, Trina. And neither did Paul." He sighed. "I am about to
divulge information to you, Trina, that you must promise never to tell
anyone else. Do I have your word that you will never speak of this again?"

Monty looked into Rando's eyes. "Yes sir," she replied, her tone a mixture
of anger and curiosity.

"Paul did not write that letter. He couldn't have. He was on Kyrus IV at the
time it was sent. The letter was sent to you by someone who wanted to
disrupt your relationship with Paul. Someone on the Mahler at the time of
the Kyrus IV mission. Someone who didn't go on the first away team mission,
but did go on the second."

Kassal looked at Rando. "Jon Cortis?" she asked, remembering the other young
cadet from the graduation memory.

Rando nodded. "You only had eyes for Paul, Trina, and so you never saw the
way Jon looked at you. At the both of you. While Paul was on Kyrus IV, Jon
broke into his quarters and accessed his computer terminal. He wrote the
letter and sent it to you, in the hopes that once you arrived on the Mahler,
he would be able to comfort you in your grief. What he hadn't counted on,
however, was the first away team disappearing... Paul included. Jon asked to
be included on the second away team, the team that went to search for the
first, and he was the only member of that second team not to return." Rando
paused. "A Starfleet investigation concluded that Jon committed suicide on
Kyrus IV. He died of a guilty conscience."

Monty shook her head in exasperation. "Are you telling me that I've spent
the last ten years hating Sonja, not speaking to Sonja, for something that
Jon Cortis did? How long have you known about this, Charlie?"

Rando looked away, uncomfortably. "I've known ever since it happened.
Unfortunately, under orders of Starfleet Command, I was not able to tell
anyone about it."

"But why not, Charlie?"

"Because I could not!" Rando exclaimed. "I was ordered not to! As much as I
wanted to ease your pain, as much as I wanted you to know that Paul and
Sonja had not betrayed you, I could not! And the worst thing is, I still
can't tell you everything that happened down there. I wish I could, but I
cannot."

Trina sat in a nearby chair, her eyes moist with tears. "I can't believe I
actually thought he'd do that." She looked at Kassal. "I can't believe I
thought you'd do that. You were both my friends, I should have known you'd
never hurt me."

Kassal put her arm around the lieutenant's shoulder. "It was a
misunderstanding, Trina, caused by a lack of information. But now that you
know the truth, you can begin to heal. And I can help you heal, if you let
me."

Monty gave Kassal a smile. "I'd like that, Sonja. I'd like us to be friends
again. It's been so long."

Rando suddenly blinked his eyes. "It's gone," he said. "The headache's
gone."

Kassal looked at him. "Then your coma wasn't caused by repressed memories,
Charlie. It was a combination of my new powers and Trina...."

Rando cut her off. "And Trina coming on the ship again. I must admit, I've
been a little worried how this would all work out... the two of you seeing
each other again. But everything seems to have come together in the end."

Kassal looked at Monty. "Trina, why don't you go back to your quarters and
rest. I'm going to talk to Charlie for a few more minutes, and then I'll
come check up on you, ok?"

Monty nodded and with a slight smile, she left the room.

Rando looked at Sonja. "I know what you're thinking, Sonja, but I couldn't
have her know that it was her intense hatred of what she thought you had
done to her that put me into this coma. I will say this, though, I'll be a
lot happier once you get those new powers of yours under control." He smiled
wryly. "It's a dangerous weapon you have there, Counselor."

"I'm sorry about all of these problems I've caused, Charlie. I'm sorry that
I put you in danger, and I'm sorry that I forced myself into parts of your
mind I wasn't supposed to see."

"Well, I doubt you could really control knocking me out for a few hours,"
Rando replied. "And as for the other matter... forget about it. And that's
an order."

"Yes sir."

Calabretta peeked his head in through the doorway. "Counselor? I think the
Captain could use some rest now. If you don't mind?"

"Of course, Doctor. I was just leaving," Kassal replied. She looked at
Rando, her eyes full of sorrow. She could tell that, despite the Captain's
jovial mood, he was still upset that she had seen what had really happened
on Kyrus IV. And she knew that it would be a while before he forgot about
it. "I'll talk to you later, Charlie."

"Until then, Counselor," Rando replied, and closed his eyes.

******************************************************

"Doctor McDonald."

The holographic doctor looked up at the mention of her name. Inwardly, she
felt a sense of dread go through her. "What can I do for you, Commander?
Another test?"

Neddek shook his head. "Not as of yet," he replied. "I wanted to inform you
that I have decided to redesign the holo-emittor. By doubling it's size, I
believe I will be able to install enough memory for your personality
protocols to be active while you are within it."

McDonald blinked in surprise. "If you'll excuse me, Commander, that doesn't
sound very practical. You told Doctor Calabretta that my function on this
ship was simply as an A.M.H. program, a tool to be utilized by the medical
staff."

Neddek nodded his head. "Doctor Calabretta has brought up logical reasons
why you should not be viewed as just that. It would be... wrong to force you
to act a way you would not normally act. I... apologize for my previous
behavior."

"Apology accepted," McDonald said with a smile. "S'tev will be so glad to
hear about this."

Neddek raised an eyebrow. "You have maintained communications with my
brother?"

"Actually, he's maintained communications with me." She drew herself up with
mock pride. "Guess I made a pretty big impression on him. Now, the next time
we stop over at Vulcan, maybe I can get out of this sickbay and visit him."

"Indeed," Neddek replied. He paused. "I also feel I should tell you that I
am so far unable to solve the interaction problem."

McDonald frowned at this. The instant Neddek had attempted to attach the
portable emitter to her, she had lost her cohesion and had shut off. For
some reason, the emitter canceled out her projection if the two came in
contact. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"It means that while the portable emitter grants you freedom from sickbay
and the holodecks... it is not complete freedom. The emitter will have to be
carried by someone else to a specific location before you can be activated
there. The projector has a radius of ten meters... as long as you do not
move outside that radius, you will be fine."

"I appreciate all of your work, Commander," McDonald told the Romulan. "One
of these days, I will have to find a way to repay you." Neddek watched as
she flashed out of existence, transferring her image to another part of
sickbay.

A presence behind him made Neddek turn around. There he saw Counselor Kassal
staring off into nothingness, her mind obviously distracted by some serious
problem. "Counselor?" Neddek inquired. "Are you all right?"

Kassal looked up at the sound of the Romulan's voice. "No," she replied
honestly. "I'm not. I've hurt Charlie... the Captain immensely."

Neddek nodded. As he was heading towards sickbay to talk to Doctor McDonald,
he had run into Commander Witherell. The Betazoid first officer had told
Neddek about the adventure inside their Captain's head, although it was
obvious that Witherell had left some portions of the story out. What Neddek
did know was that both Witherell and Kassal had seen something that their
Captain hadn't wanted them to. "Then you are worried that he will be unable
to forgive you?"

Kassal shook her head. "I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to forgive
myself," she answered. "I've made it a point not to take advantage of the
mental gifts I was given was I was born. I think I've only used the Knack on
two or three people throughout my entire life. And now... look what I've
done. I forced Charlie to show me something I wasn't meant to see. I invaded
his mind."

"You 'invaded' his mind because you thought he was in danger, which, it
turns out, he was." He paused. "Counselor, we all live with illusions...
illusions of how other people should act... of how we should act. And every
so often, as had happened recently for me, those illusions are shattered
violently. We must accept that, because eventually, we will break through
enough of these illusions and find the truth." He paused. "If you'll excuse
me, Counselor, I must continue with my work. Somehow I must find a way to
double the memory space in Doctor McDonald's portable emitter so that her
personality protocols remain intact. She is more than just a medical tool,
and I see that now. I wish you luck in finding your own truths, Counselor."

And as Counselor Kassal watched the Romulan engineer leave, she realized how
right he was... and she couldn't help but wonder if she would ever realize
the truth about herself.